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You are a tiny creature; your job is to be cute, adorable, and a wholesome being, so we can fawn over how absolutely amazing you are. That's it, that's your job. To qualify, you just need to exist.
This is the only job deer need - they're cute and delightful, and we stand by that strongly.
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It's like Australia has the scariest version of any animal on the planet. And when it comes to the delightful, dainty, adorable deer? You get the kangaroo. They're both brown-furred bouncy wild animals, but the kangaroo will hit you with no hesitation. They'll bounce and jump to run after you if you just look at them wrong. Kangaroos are seriously scary, but deer are their softer, cuter, more fabulous version. Now, let's get back to the deer before we get ourselves caught up in a kangaroo anxiety.
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“Sniff, sniff. Don't move, hooman. I'm checking that you're a friend. Sniff, sniff. Hooman, you smell like a friend, but I need you to stop moving so I can verify. Sniff, sniff. You are tall, you don't have fur, but you pet me and that's nice. Sniff, sniff. I think… that you are a friend, hooman.”
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